I can confirm that Tom Selleck’s mustache is great no matter the year, no matter the genre. You can practically feel the machismo oozing off of his upper lip’s grizzled fur baby. If you learn nothing else today, know that your face will never look as cool as his befollicled nasal undercarriage. And for that, […]
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Thankskilling 3 (2012)
Thankskilling 3 The evil, murderous fowl known as Turkie, returns to wreak havoc upon a new batch of unsuspecting strangers on his search to recover the last remaining copy of the infamous “Thankskilling 2”. On his quest, he has to contend with the wig-wearing creators of Thanksgiving Land, a crude rapping grandma, a robot with […]
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The Manitou (1978)
The Manitou The Manitou is the story of Karen and Harry. Karen has a bit of a problem. Seems there’s this fast growing lump on the back of her neck that twitches even when you don’t touch it. The doctors initially just assure her that it’s a tumor (not that having a tumor on the […]
Read moreAntlers (2021) — Movie Reviews by a Mook
I wanted to start this off with a fun fact: I keep a monster locked in my basement. It mewls and growls, and I appease it by bringing it roadkill or whatever dead animals I can find. I don’t do this out of a desire to keep it prisoner, but rather to show I love […]
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Doom Asylum (1987)
Doom Asylum Attorney Mitch Hanson and his recently rich client/fiance, Judy LaRue are planning an expensive getaway after her successful windfall. But on the way to paradise, Mitch gets too handsy with his lady love and, unable to keep his damn eyes on the road, he subsequently crashes into an oncoming van. The crash kills […]
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Horror Castle (1963)
Horror Castle AKA: Das Schloss Des Gralens AKA: La vergine di Norimberga AKA: The Virgin of Nuremberg I decided I wanted to watch something a little different, so I turned to TCM, because while the mention of that station may bring forth mental images of Casablanca, truth be told, they play all sorts of shit. […]
Read moreDance of the Dead (2008) — Movie Reviews by a Mook
I didn’t go to my Senior Prom. School dances were never really my thing, despite having been to several, and I didn’t see much difference between a Homecoming versus a Prom. Why go to a place to grind, get drunk, and have awkward teenager sex under the watchful eye of an old guy nicknamed “Coach” […]
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The Dentist 2 (1998)
The Dentist 2 AKA: The Dentist 2: Brace Yourself After an undisclosed amount of time, Dr. Feinstone manages to snag a hostage and successfully flee the insane asylum he was sent to after the first film. Fleeing California, he makes his way to the small town of Paradise, Missouri. Turns out his previous IRS problems […]
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Trog (1970)
Trog Trog starts out with a group of collage kids decide to go spelunking in an undocumented and oddly highly illuminated cave. Going against common sense they decide to not only explore the cave, but to also explore the little water chasm beneath the cave, stripping down to their skivvies and diving right in. This […]
Read moreKnock Off (1998) — Movie Reviews by a Mook
I love action movies with completely nonsensical, ridiculous plots that exist purely to put some completely miscast action star directly in the path of danger, possibly alongside an equally miscast comedian in a sidekick role. Lo and behold, here’s exactly what I want in a film: Knock Off. Jean-Claude Van Damme is a member of […] […]
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Random Movie Musings 