The Orphanage AKA: El Orfanato After being adopted from an orphanage 30-years ago, Laura returns to the now closed facility with her husband and son, with the hopes of re-opening the orphanage for disabled children. She’s initially excited by the prospects, but she quickly comes to regret her decision, as outside forces seemingly cause her […]
Read more
Rumpelstiltskin Somewhere in the 1400’s Rumpelstiltskin is being chased down by a mob after having spun some straw into gold for some poor woman… and then promptly running off with her small child. This is a very old story. You should really know how it goes. After retrieving the baby, one of the villagers curses […]
Read more
Four young tourists interested in the history of the Blair Witch arrive in Burkittsville, Maryland. Along with their tour guide, they head off into the Black Hills to visit the locals seen in the original movie. Their tour guide brings along several cameras to document anything they might find, but they don’t end up doing […]
Read moreAs in this girl has special powers due to how she came to be, not that she’s giving out presents or anything. Though admittedly, it would be kinda nice to get a present right now. I mean, who doesn’t love free stuff? In the very near future, the world sucks. Athlete’s Foot has basically evolved […] […]
Read more
Blood Tide AKA: Demon Island Neil and his new bride, Sherry, head to a remote Greek island where they’ve heard rumors that Neil’s missing sister, Madeline, may have been seen. Despite their cold welcome, the island’s mayor, Nereus, brings them to his home, where he tells them he doesn’t recognize Madeline. Highly skeptical of the […]
Read more
The Intruder Within The Intruder Within is a made for TV movie from 1981. The story follows the workers of an oil rig stationed somewhere out in the Antarctic. Drilling at depths “never reached before” they pull up some round, egg-like objects, as well as some creature that looks like a cross between a piranha […]
Read moreA weird gunslinger, a bunch of Mexican banditos, betrayal, revenge, a fuzzy timeline, and everybody’s dirty. Yep, it’s another Italian Western! Hole in the Forehead follows Billy Blood, a quirky cowboy with a terrible name that never likes to use his right hand for anything except shooting and always shoots people in the forehead for […]
Read more
Bloody Birthday In the small town of Meadowville in 1970, three children, two boys and a girl, are born at the height of a total solar eclipse. Almost ten years later, the three cherub-faced children have grown quite close, and are getting ready to celebrate their joint birthdays with a large party. But the unusual […]
Read more
The Curse The Curse is a 1987 film based on good ole horror master HP Lovecraft’s The Colour Out of Space. One night a mysterious, glowing meteor lands on the clearly financially suffering Hayes family farm. Of course, the first thing that happens, is someone decides to touch it. Oi. Their neighbor, Dr. Forbes, can’t […]
Read moreRight now, you’re probably asking why I’d bother reviewing something that made a ridiculous amount of money, featured a AAA budget, and got the major production treatment. It’s simple: The Meg has a B-movie heart in an A-movie shell, it stars a variety of actors whose credits include the kind of things I’d happily put […] […]
Read more
