The Gingerdead Man Psychotic killer Millard Findlemeyer decides to rob a diner one afternoon. While holding up the joint he shoots several patrons, including father and son duo, James and Jeremy Leigh. But for whatever reason, he seems to grow a sudden conscience when it comes to shooting the last witness, a young Sarah Leigh, […]
Read moreI can confirm that Tom Selleck’s mustache is great no matter the year, no matter the genre. You can practically feel the machismo oozing off of his upper lip’s grizzled fur baby. If you learn nothing else today, know that your face will never look as cool as his befollicled nasal undercarriage. And for that, […]
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The Dentist 2 AKA: The Dentist 2: Brace Yourself After an undisclosed amount of time, Dr. Feinstone manages to snag a hostage and successfully flee the insane asylum he was sent to after the first film. Fleeing California, he makes his way to the small town of Paradise, Missouri. Turns out his previous IRS problems […]
Read moreI love action movies with completely nonsensical, ridiculous plots that exist purely to put some completely miscast action star directly in the path of danger, possibly alongside an equally miscast comedian in a sidekick role. Lo and behold, here’s exactly what I want in a film: Knock Off. Jean-Claude Van Damme is a member of […] […]
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The Dentist Dr. Alan Feinstone runs a highly successful and profitable dental practice. He’s got some anger issues and some serious OCD related to dirt, but he doesn’t let that or the stress of an upcoming audit get in the way of running his business. Or at least he didn’t right up until he found […]
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Dark Night of the Scarecrow In a small, rural farming town, 36-year-old developmentally disabled Bubba Ritter is not the town’s favored son. The local postman, Otis Hazelrigg, in particular, seems to have it out for him, and has convinced himself and three other townsfolk that Bubba is dangerous and something needs to be done about […]
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Killer Crocodile 2 Sure he eats everybody, but how can you hate him? Look how happy he is to be back! Set some unspecified time after the events of the first film, gung-ho New York newspaper reporter, Liza, is sent off to investigate the exact same area of swamp as the previous film. A powerful […]
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Berserker AKA: Berserker: The Nordic Curse Viking Berserkers were bloodthirsty warriors who would dress up in the skins of powerful animals and, in a trance-like fury, completely overpower their adversaries. It was said that they were so possessed by the spirits of the animals they chose to don, that they would become almost feral, even […]
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Dr. Archer Howell is determined to make humans immortal and believes he has the means and the knowledge to make it happen. His theories have already proven successful on mice, and he is now convinced the best way to further prove his hypothesis is by reanimating human corpses. Unfortunately for him, Professor Tucker thinks he’s […]
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A rural California drive-in is being stalked by a ruthless killer who chooses to slay his victims with a sword. It’s now up to Detectives Koch and Leary to discern the mysterious killer’s identity before the victim count goes up. Oops! Too late. I’m going to be honest, from the moment the opening credits of […]
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Random Movie Musings 