Picking up where the last film left off, Ash finds himself somewhere in the 1300’s, a time plagued with medieval feuds and more damn Deadites than he can shake a boomstick at. Hailed as the prophesied one, the wise man of the castle says that in order to go home and banish the darkness, Ash […]
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Our hero Ash is forced to spend yet another night at the demon infested cabin from hell. Four unsuspecting visitors show up, including two yokel locals, and the daughter of the archeologist who found the accursed demon book and brought it to the cabin in the first place. Ash knows he is going to need […]
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Five friends head off to a remote cabin in the woods for some good, old-fashioned rustic relaxation and accidentally release an evil demonic force on their poor, unsuspecting asses. Gooey, bloody chaos ensues. Wait, this is where we’re staying? F&^$ that. Take me back to the dilapidated Best Western we passed three miles back. Evil […]
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Lutz, the sole detective of sleepy little Pottsville Idaho, has found himself in a bit of a pickle. It’s Easter weekend and several members of Pottsville’s citizenry have mysteriously disappeared. The only clues he’s been able to find so far have been small indentations in the ground and a slimy, sticky residue found at each […]
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Night of the Creeps immediately throws you off at first by making you think you’re going to watch some sort of zombie flick, but instead it starts off in space where two fat, naked little aliens are chasing another fat, naked little alien through a corridor. Pictured: Not the first thing I was expecting to see […]
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I was hoping for a better poster designs. This is the only one I don’t totally hate. Near Dark starts off with Caleb Colton, a young cowboy-wannabe. Caleb meets his friends in town one night and they spot a skinny, young, ice-cream cone eating Mae. Young Caleb makes his move and the two of them […]
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Tomatoes have inexplicably gained not only sentience, but also increased size and a penchant for human flesh. The government and army seems powerless to stop this rolling threat, but they simultaneously don’t want the public to know about it either. So the President sends out two men to head off this increasing threat to national […]
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In 1957, Mary Lou Maloney is on the verge of becoming Homecoming Queen. She’s got the flowers, she’s got the sash, the only thing that’s missing is the crown. Unfortunately for Mary Lou, her boyfriend just caught her cheating on him a few minutes earlier. He decides to use what he thinks will be a […]
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Jake Pruit and his two mentally challenged sons have a lucrative towing business: They run people off the road, imprison them and then sell their organs on the black market. Lately though, Jake has become obsessed with a wheelchair-bound beauty queen named April Evans. Jake is convinced he can fix her. So when the mobility challenged beauty queen shows up at a local pageant, Jake puts his plan into motion, running her RV off the road and kidnapping the family. With April the only family member not in line for the chopping block, it now falls on her to try to get her family out of this situation.
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Narrated in a style similar to that of a children’s book, Dead Hearts is the tale of Milton Mulberry, a young mortician seemingly doomed to a life of death and morbidity. But after classmate Lola Littleton comes into his life, Milton is graced with a newfound sense of hope. Young Milton has discovered true love, […]
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