Alligator II: The Mutation A skeevy land developer is trying to gentrify the property around a town’s picturesque lake by buying up the land from all the poorer residents so he can knock down their homes and build multi-million dollar properties. Which may make him a giant a-hole, but isn’t anything illegal. What ISN’T so […]
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When body parts start showing up in Chicago’s water treatment plant, Detective David Madison is tasked with investigating the grisly dismemberments. Based on the location of the body parts, the city is afraid there might be a killer on the loose stalking the sewers, so Madison and a young cohort traipse down into the muck and mud under the city in search of clues. Naturally, they’re expecting to find a human, but what they discover instead is a ginormous 36-foot long Alligator named Ramone with a serious case of the munchies. Perhaps predictably, nobody believes Madison’s claims of “an alligator did it!” when he comes back up from the sewers sans partner, but after a nosey newspaper reporter manages to get photographic evidence of the creature, not only is Madison vindicated, but the entire city kicks into high gear to try to figure out a way to stop the beast before it consumes anyone else.
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We Are What We Are The Parker’s are a reclusive family that likes to keep to themselves. During a time of torrential downpour, the family matriarch accidentally drowns while out running errands. The rest of the family is naturally devastated, but family tradition states that no matter the circumstances the Day of the Lamb must […]
Read moreI didn’t go to my Senior Prom. School dances were never really my thing, despite having been to several, and I didn’t see much difference between a Homecoming versus a Prom. Why go to a place to grind, get drunk, and have awkward teenager sex under the watchful eye of an old guy nicknamed “Coach” […]
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Killer Crocodile 2 Sure he eats everybody, but how can you hate him? Look how happy he is to be back! Set some unspecified time after the events of the first film, gung-ho New York newspaper reporter, Liza, is sent off to investigate the exact same area of swamp as the previous film. A powerful […]
Read moreI can sum this movie up in two words: vampire clowns. Ok, it’s more than that, but ultimately, it’s vampire clowns. Do you hate vampires that act a lot like zombies? Do you hate clowns? If you said ‘Yes’ to either of those questions, you probably won’t like this movie. For the rest of us…do […]
Read moreI was never in a band growing up, but if I had been, I probably wouldn’t have found a weird monster to drive me around in a van. But if I had, I definitely would have written a song about it. Uncle Peckerhead is the tale of one such band, joyfully named Duh, that does […]
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Parents is an American/Canadian horror-comedy from 1989. It’s protagonist, Michael Laemle, is a bit of an odd child. But perhaps that’s to be expected. He’s an awkward, naive ten-year-old growing up in the 1950’s and his parents have just uprooted him from his home in Massachusetts. It’s really not all that surprising that he might […]
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A quiet suburban neighborhood is turned upside down one day when all the nice, normal mothers suddenly start inexplicably deciding that everyone around them looks deliciously yummy. It’s up to a renegade cop, a suspiciously short medical examiner and the all the murderous mothers’ teenage offspring (at least the ones who were smart enough to […]
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Random Movie Musings 