The Orphanage AKA: El Orfanato After being adopted from an orphanage 30-years ago, Laura returns to the now closed facility with her husband and son, with the hopes of re-opening the orphanage for disabled children. She’s initially excited by the prospects, but she quickly comes to regret her decision, as outside forces seemingly cause her […]
Read moreAs in this girl has special powers due to how she came to be, not that she’s giving out presents or anything. Though admittedly, it would be kinda nice to get a present right now. I mean, who doesn’t love free stuff? In the very near future, the world sucks. Athlete’s Foot has basically evolved […] […]
Read moreRight now, you’re probably asking why I’d bother reviewing something that made a ridiculous amount of money, featured a AAA budget, and got the major production treatment. It’s simple: The Meg has a B-movie heart in an A-movie shell, it stars a variety of actors whose credits include the kind of things I’d happily put […] […]
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Bland Larceny Sasha and Tom have decided that they’re going to rob Otto, a wealthy German social media influencer. Sasha’s already done her part by seducing Otto and getting an invitation into the house, so now it’s Tom’s turn to sneak into Otto’s home while she’s distracting him. The problem? Turns out Tom is a […]
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Faithful Lauren’s marriage to her husband Ron has hit a rough patch. Ron’s not happy about the long hours needed in order for Lauren to achieve her dream of becoming a doctor. Desperate to try to reconnect to her spouse, Lauren quits school to focus on her marriage. But Ron seems to have already checked […]
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Return of the Beast from Outer Space Tom and Claire head out to the woods one weekend to do a little peaceful camping, but their quiet getaway turns into a weekend of horrors when they’re suddenly attacked by a mysterious monster. But things are apparently not what they seem. As they frantically search their campsite […]
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Taken In Brad stands in his kitchen, drinking his way through a whole bottle of wine and making dinner. In the course of cutting some vegetables he hurts himself (probably due to drinking a whole bottle of wine), breaks a dish and says a few choice words. He figures life sucks and shit happens. But […]
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Cucu AKA: Peek-A-Boo A young couple, Julia and Rafa, have a small argument on the way back home from a get-together Julia’s brother was having. Julia’s not happy that her husband drank so much, and scolds him for acting immaturely, especially now that they have a young son to look after. Rafa brushes off her […]
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Piercing Stillness AKA: L’Immobilità Trafigge An amateur photographer goes for a walk in the countryside where he comes across a small, discarded mannequin. As the filmmaker starts to shoot video of his find, he discovers that his camera suddenly seems to be haunted by an unknown man in black garb who shows the videographer flashbacks […]
Read moreAh yes, Tenet, the movie Christopher Nolan felt would be best in theaters packed full of plague lungs. Love it, hate it, but never forget: you’ll leave with your memories, possibly a headache, and even a potential hospital visit. Thanks, Chris. Despite the back and forth debacle over worldwide release dates, it’s still a big […]
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Random Movie Musings 