Alligator II: The Mutation A skeevy land developer is trying to gentrify the property around a town’s picturesque lake by buying up the land from all the poorer residents so he can knock down their homes and build multi-million dollar properties. Which may make him a giant a-hole, but isn’t anything illegal. What ISN’T so […]
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When body parts start showing up in Chicago’s water treatment plant, Detective David Madison is tasked with investigating the grisly dismemberments. Based on the location of the body parts, the city is afraid there might be a killer on the loose stalking the sewers, so Madison and a young cohort traipse down into the muck and mud under the city in search of clues. Naturally, they’re expecting to find a human, but what they discover instead is a ginormous 36-foot long Alligator named Ramone with a serious case of the munchies. Perhaps predictably, nobody believes Madison’s claims of “an alligator did it!” when he comes back up from the sewers sans partner, but after a nosey newspaper reporter manages to get photographic evidence of the creature, not only is Madison vindicated, but the entire city kicks into high gear to try to figure out a way to stop the beast before it consumes anyone else.
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Unlawful Duties Two police officers are sent to investigate a local drug-related disturbance in the area one night. When they get to the location they don’t find any drug dealers, just a local homeless man who seems to peddle in street card games. One of the officers engages him in a game, but the other […]
Read moreCop movies can be a mixed bag. While the Hays Code forced us to always show law enforcement as the good guys, we immediately rebelled the instant we could. The 1960s and ’70s were rife with both good and bad police, sometimes in the same person, with the likes of films such as Dirty Harry, […]
Read moreI can confirm that Tom Selleck’s mustache is great no matter the year, no matter the genre. You can practically feel the machismo oozing off of his upper lip’s grizzled fur baby. If you learn nothing else today, know that your face will never look as cool as his befollicled nasal undercarriage. And for that, […]
Read moreI wanted to start this off with a fun fact: I keep a monster locked in my basement. It mewls and growls, and I appease it by bringing it roadkill or whatever dead animals I can find. I don’t do this out of a desire to keep it prisoner, but rather to show I love […]
Read moreIf there is one thing horror movies have taught me (and there are many, many things horror movies have taught me), it’s to never be the last person inside anywhere. It’s not necessarily about being the first person out, but definitely do enough cardio and be willing to trip folks so you’re not the last. […]
Read moreMining the depths of bad taste for movies will lead you through a lot of crap. Much of it is stuff that’s entertaining, probably for the wrong reasons. However, sometimes you find a gem, not notable for its quality but because of its rarity or its surprising significance in the career of a particular actor, […]
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Random Movie Musings 