Hatchet II is essentially an homage to the slasher flicks of yore. It doesn’t have a single original bone in it’s deformed and mutilated corpse, but the level at which it commits itself to reveling in it’s own blood and gore is commendable. You’ve gotta respect a movie that knows exactly what it is, goes […]
Read moreIn the future, we’ll still have carrots, tanks will be able to talk to us about baseball, and humanity will have collectively run out of good ideas for element names. Gunhed is a weird, messy movie, but it’s one I highly enjoyed for all its quirks and bizarre problems. I should give some personal background […]
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Mild mannered workman, Eugene Brackin, has volunteered, along with three other coworkers, to go in and work over the Thanksgiving weekend. He sits quietly for the entire day and then, after everyone has clocked out, he locks the door, pulls out a gun, and takes his three coworkers hostage. He does not give anyone a reason for his actions, only saying that he won’t hurt anyone and that everything will be over when the circle is complete.
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Sucker Punch tells the very trippy tale of Baby Doll, a young girl who’s just had a shit-ton of wrenches thrown into the machine that is her life. The film starts with a sequence of events depicting Baby Dolls background in some (alternate?) version of the 1950s. We learn that her mother has just died, […]
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LAPD detectives Roger Mortis and Doug Bigelow are in the middle of trying to solve a bizarre string of bank and jewelry store robberies. They think they’ve caught a break when they manage to corner two of the supposed suspects at a jewelry store. But despite a huge police presence and clearly being shot multiple times, the robbers seem strangely unstoppable. Roger and Doug manage to kill two of the suspects in a violent shoot-out that leaves dozens of officers dead. But they quickly find out that their case is much more complicated than they thought, when one of the coroners, Rebecca, informs them that she’s seen these two men before: on her autopsy slab several days earlier. She points out the previous autopsy sutures and the photos she took of the corpses as proof.
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The Gamma People starts off innocently enough. Two journalists, Mike and Howard, are on a train, off to cover some festive European festival of some sort. On the way there they enjoy, what I can only assume to be, a riveting game of chess… Who’s turn was it again? I zoned out. Because on the […]
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A jogger in London passes out during a run and wakes up to a silent, uncooperative nurse and the realization that he’s had his leg amputated. Meanwhile, Konratz, a military man returning to his unidentified home country that’s currently under the rule of a military regime, is seen slowly killing off his superiors so that […]
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During a rain-drenched showdown between two Yakuza factions, Akemi, the leader of one faction, inadvertently slices the eyes of an innocent woman trying to protect her relative. She looks down to see a cat lapping up the fallen woman’s blood before the feline attacks her, in an act that Akemi is convinced is the product […]
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Mike goes off on his own to try to find a way to defeat The Tall Man, forcing Reggie to go (on yet another long car trip) after him. Along the way Reggie encounters zombies and a stranded motorist, while Mike tries to learn about the The Tall Man and come up with a plan […]
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You know, I think I’ve seen this before. It certainly seems familiar, but I couldn’t give you a time frame of when I actually viewed it. If I did it was probably on Sci-Fi before SyFy came along and started to suck. Phantasm III picks up immediately after the end of the last installment. Reggie […]
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Random Movie Musings 