I Like Bats



AKA: Lubie nietoperze

Izabela is a craftsperson who works with ceramics and porcelain. She sells her wares at a small shop in town that’s owned by her aunt, a woman who seems a little too intent on her niece landing herself a man. But Izabela seems perfectly content with her solitude. Mostly because she’s a vampire and would prefer not to be bothered with trivialities like love, even if it means she remains a vampire. But when the hunky Professor Rudolf Jung (very subtle, movie…) happens upon her aunt’s store one day, Izabela decides that maybe being human isn’t such a bad idea after all, and checks herself into the professor’s clinic, in the hopes of turning his head. But, as Izabela is about to find out, Jung turns out to be a hard man to persuade.



I Like Bats is a Polish film from 1986, and as soon as I saw the title I decided I had to watch it. I mean, with a name like I Like Bats, who wouldn’t want to watch it? After all, I too like bats, so it kinda felt like a no-brainer. I did find myself a smidge disappointed by it though. Because I was kinda led to believe that this was going to be a horror movie. You know, what with the mention of vampires and all. Not that I think it’s good to assume anything about anyone, or things like that. Perish the thought. But once you mention vampires in your description, I feel I should be forgiven for making such an assumption. Because, you know, VAMPIRES. But – Surprise! – this isn’t really a horror movie. Nor is it really about vampires, either. It’s more of a… Well, it’s kinda an arty romance that often feels like a fantasy. But it’s also got elements of dark humor in there too. So it’s, eh, different.



Honestly, the whole vampire angle almost feels like an afterthought in this movie. I mean, it’s there, and it’s actually pretty prominent, mostly because Izabela won’t shut the hell up about it. But like I said, this is more of an “arty” film, so it’s one of those things where it’s a movie about a vampire, but it’s not really about vampires, if that makes sense. Instead, the vampirism is used like a very complicated allegory to illustrate the relationship between men and women (*snore!*). So don’t expect any of the standard vampire tropes you’re likely very used to. Izabela has no trouble walking around during the day, nobody gets staked through the heart (or is even ever at risk of being staked), and the movie spends practically zero time focusing on the whole neck-biting part that vampire legends are famous for. In fact, that whole last part is practically filled with “blink and you’ll miss it” kind of moments. Because I guess Izabella either sucks like a silent, high-powered vacuum, or everybody in this movie must be tragically anemic or something, because it takes literal seconds for them to croak after she bites them. Like WHAM! they dead. Moving on. It’s really amazing.

And it all happens so fast that it also means that you shouldn’t expect to see too much blood in this movie either. You get, hmm, maybe a couple drops, and that’s it. Hell, forget the blood, I don’t even think you even see any bite marks until the very end. So, word to the gore fans, this ain’t the film for you. Nope nope. Though the skin fans fare a little better, since this is a European film and I think they’re contractually obligated to show boobies no fewer than three times if they hope to garner any level of street cred, whether the scene calls for it or not.


Why are you suddenly dancing naked? I think it may be time to cut off her bar tab.

One thing I’m really still not quite sure about though, is that I’m still not clear on exactly what it was the film was trying to say. Because the whole romance angle also ties back into Izabela wanting to become human, but I’m still not sure what the parameters were regarding exactly how that was supposed to work. I can make inferences sure, like about gaining maturity and accepting who you are, and maybe even learning about not putting so many walls up and letting yourself let go, but those are just my assumptions. Or at least I think that’s the angle the movie was aiming for, because what it ultimately boils down to is the boring horror staple of someone needing to lose their virginity (goodness this genre needs a new angle…). But it couldn’t have been just that, because between the creeps following her home and the desperate, balding suitor who seemed obsessed with her, Izabela basically had a queue of very willing participants waiting to help her in that regard. She didn’t need to waste her time harassing and stalking some random guy who stopped into her aunt’s shop and ignored her for 90% of the movie. So I’m pretty sure the film was saying something, I’m just not sure what that something is.

Then again, maybe it’s not saying anything. Because there was this whole scene where Izabela’s aunt is literally hovering several feet in the air in the middle of the room and the film never bothered to explain what the hell that was either (nothing even remotely close to that ever happens again). So maybe the film is just full of shit. Who knows.


Seriously, what the hell?

One thing I did actually really like about the movie was the comedy, believe it or not. Because beside the one character who appears to be some kind of practical joke salesman who was a little too into his job and was clearly just added to provide some goofiness, the rest of the humor here is surprisingly subtle. One guy at the sanatorium goes on a rant during an assembly (or was it just dinner time?) about not wanting to get unnecessarily x-rayed, and he’s making some low-key points and all, until the very end when he reveals that the only reason he’s opposed to it is because he doesn’t want to get AIDS and everyone kinda makes a face. And then the very next scene is of everyone calmly walking to bed and the orderlies are taking his now clearly drugged ass to his room. But the best part was right after Izabela killed some random delivery dude she picked up and she just gets out of the van and (sloooowly) pushes it backwards down a hill. And you’re wondering why she did that and why she’s just calmly walking away from a slow moving van, until a few seconds later when you see a giant explosion over the hill-line and realize that yes, even this silly movie somehow managed to find an excuse to stupidly blow up a random vehicle AND have the main character coolly walk away from it. Between this and the sex, it’s clear that this is a film that knew exactly what its viewers wanted: Skin and EXPLOSIONS!


Still not sure why it blew up though. Must have been filled with nitroglycerin or something.

So it wasn’t at all what I expected, but I still ended up kinda liking I Like Bats. Not a lot, maybe, but more than I thought I would after I realized it wasn’t exactly what I thought it was going to be. The acting is good, it looks good, and it genuinely gave me a couple of chuckles. Oh! And there were actually some bats in it, so I didn’t need to knock off any points there. So basically it redeemed itself just enough for me to forgive for being a little confusing and for forcing me to watch an awkward romance about a desperate woman trying to land herself a cold, uninterested man that probably shouldn’t have been treating her at all due to professional ethical concerns, that I DID NOT sign up for. But, eh, it was still okay. But it’s also not your typical vampire movie either, which I’m sure will appeal to certain people more than others. So if you’re looking for something a little more lighthearted and different, then feel free to give this one a try. But if you’re looking for a VAMPIRE vampire movie, then you’re going to want to look elsewhere.

I Like Bats is available on a variety of streaming services.

I Like Bats is also available on Bluray from Severin Films, as part of their House of Psychotic Women Rarities Collection.

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