They Nest



AKA: Creepy Crawlers

Dr. Ben Cahill is having a rough time at work after going through some personal problems. So rough in fact, that the hospital he works at forces him to go on a forced “vacation” so that he can chill out and get his head on straight. So Cahill heads off to Orr Island, a small fishing village in Maine where he and his ex once bought a cabin together. As expected, some of the locals aren’t too happy with this new “city boy” outsider showing up in their town. The doctor’s really not too fond of them either, but is more concerned with the obnoxious, giant cockroach infestation at his new house rather than some annoying hicks.

But the bigger issue ends up being a couple of strange deaths Cahill is asked to consult on that appear to involve some kind of paralytic agent with no known cause. After a couple more strange incidents, Cahill discovers that the cockroaches he’s been trying to kill aren’t really cockroaches at all, but an infestation of the African Armadillo Bug, a nasty little creature that paralyzes its prey before laying their eggs inside the victims. Normally they only attack small animals, but with the lack of small creatures on the island, removed from their normal habitat and with no natural predators around they’ve moved on to the next best thing: man. So now it’s up to Cahill to warn everyone on the island and get them all to safety…assuming he can get them to believe him.


Hint: some of them don’t

I might be cheating a little with this title this month, because They Nest (not to be confused with The Nest) is not strictly an “aimed at kids” type of movie. But it’s one of the few on my current list that doesn’t have an R or MA rating, so you’ll just have to live with it. In fact, I found out after watching this PG-13 movie that it was actually Made-for-TV, and initially aired on USA Network. So I guess as a TV film that means it’s appropriate for the young’uns. But don’t let the TV Movie designation scare you, because shockingly this film is actually pretty good. Granted, I don’t think a lot of kids would necessarily enjoy it, but for general audiences it’s a lot better than I expected.



The reason I say that the movie might not appeal too much to kids is because the film’s pacing is… well, it’s really slow. They Nest is a quintessential “slow burn” type of monster movie that slowly trickles out the information to you as the movie progresses. But at the same time it’s a consistent trickle of relevant, plot-related info, so there’s really very little useless filler here. Almost all of it proves to be relevant at some point. It just that it all moves at a very “island living” pace, which was probably completely intentional considering the location. So it’s not necessarily bad, but it’s likely not going to appeal to those looking for something faster, scarier, or more action packed (at least until the end). This is more of a “laid-back” monster movie. Which means if you have attention span issues, this isn’t going to do a lot to grab you.


Aw, but it looks so tiny and harmless and-…OH MY GOD!

The movie also suffers from some very familiar and eye-rolling tropes. So expect the local-yocals to gang-up and try to run the new guy out of town, nobody listening to reason, the one pretty girl in town inexplicably and immediately liking the new guy (though to be fair, her other prospects didn’t seem all that great), and for the main character to be completely out of his depth in his new environment while simultaneously shoving his nose into things even after he’s already been told to mind his business. So…yeah. The writing (and the story for that matter) isn’t all that original. But it’s put together competently enough that none of it is too annoying to sit through.


Unlike this dinner…

Other than that though, the movie is actually pretty good? The acting isn’t stellar, but it boasts a few familiar faces like Thomas Calabro (Melrose Place, The Bay), Dean Stockwell (Quantum Leap and just about everything from the 80s and 90s), John Savage (who’s also been in just about everything) and Kristen Dalton (The Departed). Some performances are more impressive than others, for sure, but thankfully nobody outright sucks. In fact, everyone fairs about mid-range or better, making for a surprisingly decent caliber of acting on display for a silly little Made-for-TV B-movie such as this.



Even the creature effects aren’t really that bad. I mean, yeah you can tell that the bugs are all CGI, but I can’t tell if they used decent CGI, or if the bugs are just generally small enough that the tiny size hides the majority of their flaws. Either way though, they look much better than expected. Maybe not as good as they would if they had been made with practical effects, but still pretty good.

In fact, the movie in general looks really good as well, with well-framed shots, good lighting (praise be!), and even some decent editing to help build tension in appropriate spots. So I guess that means that either the filmmakers really knew what they were doing, or the USA Network had more money to splurge on original programming than I ever suspected.



So, to my utter shock, They Nest turned out to be a lot better than I was ever expecting. It may not be a great film, but it’s a decent B-flick with good acting that knew how to slowly build up enough tension to keep me interested. Oh, and it also sports an absolutely ridiculous ending that was so dumb it made me laugh, so I’m giving it a couple of extra brownie points for that alone. So if you like slow-burn, slightly cheesy, “OH MY GOD THE BUGS!”-type of monster movies then this one’s not too bad and is a very easy watch, even though it’s not really all that scary…. Unless of course you don’t like creepy-crawly bug movies. In which case I’m sure some of the scenes contained within will be the epitome of terrifying.

They Nest is available on a variety of streaming services.

They Nest is also available on DVD.

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