Witchcraft 6: The Devil’s Mistress



AKA: Witchcraft 666

Over the last few weeks three young women have gone missing in the LA area and Detective’s Lutz and Garner are no closer to finding out who the killer is then when they started. The only real clue they have so far is that the newest victim seems to have had the light outline of a pentagram on her abdomen. Thinking there may be an occult angle to the killings, the detectives contact Will Spanner, a local attorney who seems to have a knack with helping the police solve supernatural cases. With his help they manage to narrow down the suspect pool to a strange curio shop and bar owner named Savanti. But what his motives might be and what they have to do with the upcoming lunar eclipse happening in a couple days remain a mystery.


Mystery #2 is what that thing at the end of the bar is and why the hell it’s there…

Well, as of right now it would seem that most of the Witchcraft films (except 7, oddly enough) are still being hoarded away somewhere in the deep recesses of the Amazonian vaults. And though I might be tempted to renew my Prime membership for a month just to finally get through a couple more entries in this series, I noticed that even though the films are available on Prime some of them are STILL only viewable if you rent them. And let me tell you right now, I’ll be DAMNED if I pay money to watch any of these things. No, not even for a measly $1.99. That is $2.99 too much for this level of tripe. Yes, they should be paying ME to watch these films for them. That’s how bad they are. But will they? No, of course not. So after getting sick of waiting for these sucky films to come back to other streaming services, I gave up and had to resort to more…questionable sources in order to watch this film (thank you, my Russian comrades).


You know what, I can live with this.

Was it worth my efforts and the horrible pornographic AI slop ads I had to endure in order to do it? Good gods, no. My fragile human psyche shall never be the same and I am scared for life. But again, I’m watching all these films so you, gentle reader, do not have to. So for the love of decency, don’t let my efforts be in vain.



Witchcraft 6: The Devil’s Mistress is the 1994 follow-up to the previous film, Witchcraft 5: Dance with the Devil, released just one year prior. None of the previous film’s actors returned for this outing, so everyone here is a brand new face for you to stare blankly at. Or, in more cases than not, for them to stare more blankly at you. Meaning though the faces may have changed, that facet of their personalities have not. This also seems to mark a point in the series where the plots start to get much more…formulaic in nature, in that though you may not have a lot of returning actors, you do have quite a few returning story beats and characters. That means that there will be more of Detectives Garner and Lutz in the future (with one noticeable caveat.) So if you’re following along, try to remember those names (or don’t, I’m not your boss.) But this also marks the point in the series where they pretty much abandoned the “horror” elements altogether, and gave up the ghost and went full “erotic thriller” on us. Although if I’m going by this film, I doubt in most cases that people will find much in the way of eroticism or thrills in any of these movies. That term is just code in the cheap film industry for “there’s a lot of boobies for you to look at” in this one.


Amongst other things.

First up: The Actors! Oh, gods, the actors. It’s…It’s not great, ya’ll. The main three playing the evil characters actually aren’t that bad for this kind of cheap, trashy thing. They’re still not great, mind. But since they manage to get a bit more screen time they’re also given a bit more in the way of personality. Granted, they’re still playing the roles equivalent to that of some cheesy, eccentric, over-the-top leader and his dimwitted minions. But if you pretend you’re watching cartoon characters from the 80s then it’s actually not too bad.


Guy’s like an off the rack Bond villain.

The MAIN characters, however…Oi. I don’t know how he managed it, but somehow Will’s new actor, Jerry Spicer (who does not come back for another outing), somehow managed to perfectly emulate the blank stare and dull-ass delivery of the two actors that came before him. Sometimes he even SOUNDS like Charles Solomon Jr.! It’s almost uncanny! If completely dry and emotion-less weren’t such a horrible direction for him to go with, I’d say he did an amazing job with its replication.


Nailed it!

Then you have Debra K. Beatty taking up the reins as Keli, who manages to fare just a smidge bit better. She, blessedly, at least knows how to emote. The problem is, she’s really just there to be a pretty face and show off her “assets” so to speak. So she doesn’t get to do too much. Her two longest scenes seem to consist of “taking a bath”, if you catch my drift. But the movie was at least nice enough to let her successfully defend herself from one of the evil warlock’s idiot minions this time around, and not just remain some sort of helpless damsel in distress. Even though they made her do the whole thing in the dark… wearing nothing but a towel. So…uh… You know, I think I’m just gonna take the small win we got from her and move on.


With how useless Will is, learning how to stab people was probably a necessity.

But it’s the Detectives…dear gods the Detectives…. They really take the cake. These guys emote TOO much. I think they were meant to add some form of comedy to this film. Because half of their scenes involve making their office lady come in so that they can pawn their work off on her, and make inappropriate sexual comments at her. And insult her looks. And her work ethics. So basically these two lunkheads are just a walking, talking HR disaster that the movie will just not stop focusing on. But the writing is so bad that even when they’re not doing anything wrong they still come across as idiots. Hell, even when they’re just standing around they still come across as idiots. Because it seems they both went to the Over-exaggerated Faces School of Acting, as that appears to be 90% of their performance. In their very first scene when their Captain starts berating them for not finding the killer yet (because apparently they spend all their time harassing the office staff) they go through about 30 different facial expressions, and each one of them looks like they’re trying to emulate a dog who’s getting yelled at for peeing on the carpet. It would be amusing if it weren’t so ridiculously sad.













Next up: The Plot! Unsurprisingly, much like the last film, there isn’t much of one. Some kind of evil group, led by an equally evil warlock, is searching for virgins to offer up to the Devil as the incubator for the Devil’s future offspring. The police get involved, Will somehow gets pulled into the case, and the evil warlock sends some pretty buxom sexpot to try to seduce him so that Will won’t in some way foil their evil plans. So it’s basically a mish-mash of the first and fourth films of the series, except that the warlock actually DOES need virgins this time, because otherwise they’ll die (for some reason). Oh, and this all has to happen on the night of this very specific lunar eclipse that hasn’t happened in 66 years.


Seems the eclipse comes with a large-scale industrial fan. You know, for the aesthetic.

In fact there’s so little here that it’s painfully obvious that the bare bones story the movie does have is pretty much just a flimsy excuse for the film to show as many boobs and simulated sex scenes as it can. If you’re wondering how many that amounts to, the answer is six. Though in two of them the action is implied and everyone keeps their clothes on. Still though, six feels a bit like overkill, especially since a couple of them last several minutes. I didn’t time them this time like I did during the last film (mostly because I didn’t want to put up with those sleazy ads again), but on a hunch I got up during one of them for a bathroom break, and by the time I came back they were just ending. So if I had to guess, I’d say they still take up somewhere around 15-20% of the movie. Which I’m sure some people might think sounds exciting, but I think a lot of those people would still likely walk away disappointed. Cause really, most of it is just boob fondling. Boob fondling on a dirty kitchen floor surrounded by spilled tomato juice (hmmm, sexy tomato juice.). Boob fondling in the cramped front seat of the car. Boob fondling on the hood of the car. Just… a lot of boobs, really.


Here’s some covered ones so I don’t have to edit anything.

So I guess if you like simulated sex in filthy, cramped locations, you’ll walk away from this film pleased as punch. If you want a good one, however, you’ll have to wait for the bathtub scene. But that one may still leave you high and dry since neither character gets to their ‘preemptive’ ending, because Will has one of his “moments” and nearly drowns his girlfriend in the bathtub (Keli deserves much better than him, quite honestly). So maybe you will have better luck with the dirty, kinky evil couple who seem to like to bone at nearly every possible opportunity. If so, more power to you. Cause that chick seemed WAY too invested in licking that dude’s face, to the point where it was seriously creeping me out.


*SLUUUURP!*

And don’t think I’ve forgotten about the effects! Cause there are actually some in here! And they Suck! But thankfully the suckage is limited to a minimum of three whole instances. Likely because the production had no money at their disposal for much else (judging by the previous and following film estimates, my guess is somewhere around 50K). But, hey! They do exist! And they’re pretty bad. The best is probably the pentagram that rises up from the abdomen of all the female victims. It looks like the cheap, stop-motion clay effect it is. But since it’s a practical effect it sort of wins by default. Because the other two are a creepy demon face overlay and simulated…Uh, I think that’s supposed to be lightning there at the end, but it’s hard to be sure with these things sometimes. Point is, they look bad, so if you’re going to risk these films, be prepared for that.







And finally: the weirdness! Or at least the weirdness that I couldn’t fit in anywhere else. Oh, where to begin…. Where to begin….

The detectives are so dumb that they call in a bunch of local ‘occult experts’ so that they can interview them and see if they can help them with the case (it’s a WHOLE extended scene). Anyway, they’re all quacks, so the detectives get annoyed and start snapping at them about why they’re wasting their time. And twice – TWICE – these nitwits, after conducting these interviews damn near all day, have to be told by their respective interviewees, “dude…you called ME here?”

Again…TWICE!


Oh…Oh, yeah…Derp.

So, the reason why the cult has had so many victims so far is because it is seemingly nigh impossible for these guys to find a virgin in the greater Los Angeles area (curse that sexual revolution). One would think they would be going after schoolgirls to up their chances of success or something. But no. Apparently they’re evil, but they’re not THAT evil. Instead, their methods in the movie seem to consist of making sexual advances on people in diners, and picking up randos off the street. No research at all. They just assume that if she’s wearing a cross she must be chaste. But then again I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Because these are the same nitwits who are told by their leader that their sacrifice is close to Will, and their immediate thought is to try to abduct Will’s girlfriend…. Of several years…. Who lives with him. And all of this while they’re on a really tight time schedule. Yeah. Suffice it to say that these devil worshipers are perhaps not the brightest crayons in the box.


All style and no brains, these two.

Oh, also, did you know that apparently evil warlocks are a little overly obsessive with their nail care? Cause this one sure is–





Why? So they can freak people out by eating their martini olives with their pinky finger–


Ew. Dude. They give you a little stick for that.

In the film’s defense, I feel like I should note that it did oftentimes try to be ‘arty’. So there are some points where it looks very nice. But it also sometimes results in intentionally funny moments, such as this instance of “side-boob cam”.


Did I mention this movie was directed by a woman?


Duuuuuuuuuhhhhhh….

Blood is sort of an ‘idea’ in this film. As evidenced by the scene where Keli defends herself from one of the evil minions by stabbing him in the hand with her pinking shears, successfully fending off the attacker and forcing him to flee. Yet in a manner of seconds, we go from this–



To this–



Wait, how did you get all that blood on your face? At no point did we see him hit you. So the only other possible explanation is that they either cut out a scene (why, when they left everything else in!), or you just smeared your one bloody hand over your face without letting go of the scissors. So don’t know what’s going on there, but I’m now very confused.

And finally: in the grand finale Will ends up temporarily incapacitated because the warlock’s seductress lightly shoved him to the ground, all so that she could get one final evil grope in (gotta admire her commitment to the bit). And he was so distracted by it that he almost didn’t get up in time to save his poor secretary.



Oh, and the reason he did all this alone, without any police intervention, was because the idiot known as Lutz got lost on the way to the murder shrine.


Whomp Whomp

Alas, Witchcraft VI lived up to, and even exceeded my horribly poor expectations in some spots. And I’m afraid these movies are just going to get worse from here on out. Only one film in this (so far) 17 film epic has a 4 star rating on IMDB (the newest one, which I’m convinced must be an error), and the next few are even lower than this one (a 3.3), so I think it’s all downhill from here. But they popped these films out so quickly and cheaply that all the poor scores don’t really surprise me. These are films that were only meant to appeal to the lowest common denominator, and boy does it show. So if you’re looking for some soft-core with a supernatural subplot, then by all means give it a whirl. But if you’re hoping for anything deeper, then avoid this like the plague.

Witchcraft VI: The Devil’s Mistress is available in…various places on the internet.

Witchcraft VI: The Devil’s Mistress was once available on DVD, but is now long out of print.

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