Pieces



AKA: The Night Has 1,000 Screams (Mil gritos tiene la noche)

An unnamed boy sits in his room and hums to himself while he puts together an erotic puzzle of a naked woman. When his mother catches him she freaks out, slaps him, demands he get rid of it and starts telling him he’s worse than his father. And let me tell you, this kid’s father must be a real dick, because the boy’s first reaction is to immediately grab a hatchet and hack his mom to death and saw her into pieces. But the boy isn’t just crazy, he’s also incredibly clever. Because when a nosey neighbor brings the police he quickly pretends that the bloody massacre in his bedroom is the result of a violent home invasion and no one suspects a thing.


I mean, how could you with a face like this?

Some 40-years later, at an unnamed college in Boston, a string of brutal murders begins. All the deaths are those of young women, and at each murder it’s discovered that some piece of each young lady is mysteriously missing. Local police are puzzled by the grizzly string of murders, but a lack of resources means they’re struggling for manpower. So the detectives on the case enlist the help of former tennis champ Mary Riggs, and current student Kendall James, to do a little undercover investigating to help them figure out who the killer is before he chops up too many more scantily dressed coeds.



Okay, so Beyond Evil was kinda ‘meh’, but at least I liked Lynda Day George’s performance, so I figured it was high-time for me to finally get around to watching Pieces. I mean, it’s been on my watch-list for ages and it’s a bit of a cult classic, so I figured it had to be pretty good, right? …Right? Well…yes and no. Turns out the movie itself is absolutely ridiculous. And when I say ridiculous I mean ridiculously ridiculous. But I also can’t deny that the slasher bits are on point (in fact, they’re the highlight of the film). So I can see why certain circles would really like it, despite so much of the movie being downright laughable.



To put it simply: the story of Pieces is bad. And I don’t mean “bad” as in the plot is somehow incoherent. Parts of the story may be slow, and there are a couple of subplots that go absolutely nowhere, but the story itself isn’t confusing in any way, and you can easily tell what’s going on at all times. In fact, the plot is very simple: The little boy at the beginning of the film is a tiny little psycho, grows up to be an even bigger psycho who has somehow become obsessed with this one erotic puzzle, and so now he’s going around and killing young women so he can “piece” together the perfect lady. See? As far as killer motivations and slashers go, that is insanely simple. The main problem with the movie involves basically everything else, because oftentimes things happen in this film and you have no earthly idea why they’re happening. Why are there only two detectives on a case where multiple young ladies have been found hacked to death? Why would anyone think it was okay to enlist the help of a student to assist them? Shouldn’t extensive background checks on suspects have been one of the first things the police did, not the last? Do the writers really think this is how college gals behave? Why is the killer brazenly attacking people in the daytime? Why are people walking around alone at night when they know several people have been murdered? How is the killer chasing people and then somehow getting in front of them? Why are none of the students suspicious of this weird asshole walking around campus wearing nothing but a black outfit and mask over his face? It’s not like he’s hiding at all… Does nobody in this film have peripheral vision? How did that creepy kid get his hands on that erotic puzzle in the first place? What was up with that weird karate dude? And finally, how TF does a corpse get up, let alone attack anything?


You’re really telling me NO ONE saw this guy and thought he was suspicious?

Now, I know that the baseline reasoning for all (or at least most) of this is: it’s a silly, exploitative slasher, stop thinking so hard about it. And I know that a lot of slashers, even many well-regarded ones, don’t really have what one would necessarily call “logical” plots (I’m looking at you, Freddy Krueger). But even as far as slashers go, this one has a lot of odd annoyances to process for one that’s supposed to be based in reality and NOT supposed to have some sort of supernatural killer. One or two oddities I could easily forgive, but this film just seems to have way more than its fair share. People just do not act (or hell even react) in a logical fashion at all in this movie. Instead they’re making decisions that are purposefully meant to put themselves and others in harms way, and the movie puts zero effort into covering this up. If anything it seems to revel in the character’s stupidity and lack of self-awareness, despite the fact that it appears to also want to play everything straight. Which is fine I guess if you’re just here for the stabby-stabby parts, but it’s also the kind of stuff that results in a lot of deep sighs and head shaking. Especially when some random Asian guy suddenly shows up and tries to kick Lynda Day George’s ass for no discernible reason, only to shrug the attack off 5 seconds later and walk away as if he didn’t just decide to turn a corner and randomly try to beat up on some white woman. And no, I don’t care if the scene was merely included as a nod to one of the producer’s connection to other kung-fu films. It still had no business being in this one.


Seriously, WTF?

On the technical side, the film fares a tad better, but not by much. The movie is going for a bit of a Giallo vibe, so it does have some decent visuals. The killer is definitely mimicking a Giallo killer with his all black get-up and mask, it’s got some arty shots, things are relatively framed well, and you can see everything that’s going on in the dark (Yay!). On the downside though, most of the sound and acting are just…poor. The film was co-produced by the US and Spain, so unfortunately that means the entire film is dubbed, and since they didn’t do a stellar job of it the film is often awkward to listen to, partially because it just, well, the dubbing itself is just bad, yes, but also because much of the lip movements don’t match-up properly with the dialogue, despite it being obvious that everyone is clearly speaking English. And sadly most of the acting doesn’t fare much better, with much of the film consisting of a lot of awkward and/or stilted conversations and screaming. Most of the characters are just slaughter fodder though, so I guess those things shouldn’t matter too much to most viewers. But at least Christopher George and Lynda Day George are good, so thankfully you don’t have to cringe-watch your way through the whole movie.



On the plus side though, if you’re just here for the bloodshed and other slasher related goodness, then Pieces should check just about all of your boxes. People are literally cut into…er, you know… pieces in this film, so the proverbial blood cup runneth over. There are chases, there are awkward stabbings on waterbeds, and there is an abundance of chainsaw related bloodshed (at least 3!). Some of them may be a little silly (why again is there a waterbed in the sports center?), but for a low-budget film they’re all practical effects and relatively well done, and should please most gore and slasher fans. And of course the movie has more than its fair share of nudity on display – from both the female and male characters – so the skin fans should be happy as well. Though I am concerned with the movie’s apparent belief that so many random women are so willing to disrobe in so many public places. I mean I know that this is an exploitative slasher and all, but if you overdo this kind of stuff it makes the movie feel less titillating, and more like your film was written by an excessively horny 13-year-old boy.



So Pieces ends up being just okay. I mean, I like it for what it is, but it’s not what I would call great. The story has so many oddities that it ultimately ends up feeling kinda silly, especially with the addition of that laughable “jump scare” ending (Really, movie?). But I will admit that the bloody slasher parts are really well done and hit their mark, and I can easily see why this one turned into a bit of a sleeper favorite. So if you’re just looking to watch something with some slick blood and guts (and a lot of boob-age), then Pieces is an easy watch for slasher fans. But if you’re looking for a horror film with a more serious story, then you will likely walk away very annoyed (and very confused thanks to Karate Man).

Pieces is available on a variety of streaming services.

Pieces is also available on DVD and Bluray.

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