AKA: Warlock: The Armageddon
Warlock: Armageddon plays out very similar to the first Warlock: Satan’s son wanders about the US collecting magical stones that will allow Satan to destroy the earth. Except this time the Warlock really is the son of Satan, not just some random shlub that’s promised the part if he can piece a book back together.
The heroes of this tale are a group of Druids who, according to the films opening, are tasked with stopping Satan and his son’s return to earth. Why God would choose Druids as his chosen warriors in the eternal fight to prevent Satan’s return is not explained.
Perhaps he was drawn to their kick-ass fashion sensibilities.
Unfortunately though, they muck up their task and the six stones they were collecting, the super important ones that can either contain the evil or release it, are scattered. Cut to 600-some-odd years later and Satan has chosen another baby mamma to bare his son.
Naturally, she was not informed of this decision beforehand.
And in a very disturbing sequence she swiftly and violently gives birth to her gelatinous goo baby
Said goo baby then quickly transforms into a full-grown Julian Sands. This is also the only instance of nudity in the film. So for those of you paying attention, know that you’ll be evilly blessed by a full frontal of Sands awkwardly chasing his new, very confused mother down the hall. And for those who choose not to pay attention…Well, I guess you can just be surprised.
The Warlock then goes all “Wishmaster” on us and starts tracking down the six magic stones that will release Satan upon the earth. But the remaining Druids are privy to his awakening and send their most mightiest warriors to do battle with the great evil.
Armageddon is much more violent than it’s predecessor, with a lot more focus on the Warlock tricking people. So, unlike the first film, this one does not spare on the gore.
As for the special effects themselves, once again I found they were a bit hit and miss. The practical, physical effects look quite nice…
Though I question how he’d know what a Picasso is, just being born the day before and all. Perhaps there are a lot of abstract artist in Hell?
I was also very happy to see the flying parts fare much better…
And even some of the CGI looked pretty cool
Rave Satan? Sweet.
Unfortunately, this good is pulled down by some very outdated effects. In order to fight the son of Satan, the young Druid warriors have to hone what amounts to grab bag of telekinetic powers. Of course, to do this they have to be trained, which leads to a clichéd training montage that for some reason can only be accomplished with a flying baseball.
Said Baseball does not look good in motion. Hell, it barely looks good in as a screencap.
And of course these particular effects are quite noticeable and stand out like a sore thumb during much of the rest of the film. But hey, they were typical early 90’s effects, so what are you gonna do?
Overall I was pretty pleased with Warlock: Armageddon. Most of the effects were good and the deaths and tricks were entertaining. The plot did meander a bit and slow down when the film shifted focus to the heroes, but lets be honest, the only real focus in a movie like this is the bad guy, and Julian Sands plays a perfect bad guy. Calm, classy, and evil to the core. He alone gets a satanic thumbs-up.
Warlock: Armageddon is available on a variety of streaming services.
It is also available on DVD and Bluray.