Frankenhooker



Jeffery Franken, a humble worker at New Jersey Gas and Electric, also likes to dabble in various scientific fields as an amateur doctor. But he also tinkers with electronics, and has just made a remote controlled lawn mower for his beautiful fiance’s father for his birthday. But things go horribly awry when his fiance tries to demonstrate the new contraption and winds up in bloody, gruesome pieces when she inadvertently ends up in its path.


So I guess stepping to the side was out of the question here?

Devastated by her loss, Jeffery swipes her head and whatever random parts he can and decides he’s going to find a way to bring her back. The problem is, after getting minced by the lawn mower there aren’t enough pieces of her left to bring ALL of her back. So he’s going to need a body, and he figures that the easiest way to get a body is to pay somebody for it. And what’s the fastest way to acquire a body? Why, to pay for a hooker of course! After all, it’s perfect, they sell their bodies all the time! So he’s off to New York City to find the perfect body to get his girl back. Only his little scheme doesn’t go quite as he planned, and he ends up with an even bigger mess than he ever hoped for.


Holy Jeebus, dude…

Halloween is drawing ever closer, and I figured what better way to get ready for it than to watch something whose name was clearly an ode to the classic Frankenstein. Frankenhooker was directed by Frank Henenlotter, the same guy who made the Basket Case movies, so this is one of those rare times when I actually had a bit of an idea what to expect regarding what I was about to watch. In fact, this movie was filmed around the same time as Basket Case 2, and let me just say… I can tell. Because the two movies are very similar in tone to one another. But this one does feel a little different, because while it is an ode to Frankenstein it’s also a nod to the cheap, silly sci-fi and horror films from the 60s and 70s.


Can’t lie, I’m also digging the color palette.

Look, I’m going to be honest. This is a very trashy and goofy film. I mean, of course it is. It’s literally about a guy using hooker parts to bring back his dead fiance. The first thing you see is Jeffery creating a brain embedded with an eyeball that he keeps in a fish tank in his room. There’s a boatload of nudity involving hookers that literally explode.



I don’t think you can read any of that and think that you’re going to sit down and watch some kind of griping drama. But it’s also one of those films that’s trying to be trashy and goofy AND knows exactly what kind of film it is and is having fun with it. So yes, much of it is ridiculous, but it also isn’t taking itself seriously, which really helps it. And it’s also written and shot in a way that makes the trashiness and exploitative elements feel humorous and almost innocent. Jeffery isn’t evil, he’s just a desperate man trying to bring his lady love back to life. He’s just so earnest that even during the scene where he’s literally measuring the ladies and picking out his favorite “parts” he still comes across as harmless.


Yup… Totally innocent…

Yeah, he intended to kill one of them to bring her back, but he DID change his mind at the last moment. It’s really not his fault that the prostitutes thwarted him at the last second and ingested that explosive SUPER COCAINE he made for them. Really it isn’t!


Wait, why did you bring that much SUPER COCAINE with you in the first place then?

He’s going to put them back together at some point too, he swears! He just has to bring his girl back first… And then track her down when she runs off because she has too many hooker parts and now thinks she’s a hooker herself…. And then try to avoid that SUPER juiced-up pimp who isn’t too happy about finding all his girls in jigsaw pieces in the hotel room. So the movie is one big ball of (dark) comedy of errors that’s trying to have a good time. The one downside to the movie is that between the fat shaming, the prostitute cliches and the whole “piecing together a new fiance” thing, it does often feel REALLY bloody sexist. But the ending shows that the movie 100% knew that, and it finishes the film off with some ironic comeuppance, so I’ll give Mr. Henenlotter a little leeway for at least being marginally self-aware.



Know what else is goofy? The effects. But I’m fairly confident that was intentional since the movie is trying to pay homage to the sci-fi films of yore, which were often known for their cheapness and cheesy effects. So expect a lot of odd looking shit in the background and DIY looking special effects. In short, you probably shouldn’t expect anything too impressive, except for maybe the weird abominations at the end. But it’s not a fault, it’s part of the film’s charm. There are a handful of early CGI effects to look out for, though. But thankfully those are minimal and brief, so even those don’t look too bad.


Look, I don’t mind the drill, but does he have to make that face too?!






Dude clearly didn’t play enough dodge-ball as a kid.

Also goofy… The acting. But again, it’s all intentional, and both the script and everyone involved does a good job of keeping themselves in check without becoming annoying. Jeffrey may be a desperate, awkward guy with murderous impulses, but James Lorinz also manages to keep him fairly down-to-earth and make him the most likable character in the movie. But it’s Patty Mullen who ends up being the standout. Her character basically starts out as a soft-spoken, ditzy waif, and you expect her to be kinda boring. But once she turns into the zombie hooker and starts spouting every conceivable cliche hooker line the movie could think of she becomes absolutely hysterical. This was the same lady who also happened to be in Doom Asylum three years earlier and man… Talk about a change. She was so into this part that I was legit sad when she stopped plodding around the city yelling at strangers asking if they wanted a date. It almost made me want a sequel.

Oh, and props to Louise Lasser for managing to be both the annoying mom who immediately wants her son to get back into the dating pool after he watched his girlfriend become chop suey, while also being super kind and supportive of his weird-ass hobbies. She was like the ultimate crazy, Jewish mother.




Like, she didn’t even ask where he got the brain or the eye from. That’s love right there…and maybe accessory after the fact.

Look, I’m absolutely surprised to say this but, I actually ended up liking Frankenhooker. I wasn’t sure I was going to because, you know, Henenlotter (and because it’s called Frankenhooker). But it ended up being really silly and fun, and I appreciate that in my cheesy horror movies. And while I’m always skeptical about movies designated as comedy/horror, this one hit. It may not have hit every single time, but I did laugh several times throughout, so that’s a win in my book. Of course, as with all comedy your mileage may vary depending on your tastes, but if you like purposefully cheesy, gory, self-aware horror movies then this one is worth a shot. But if you’re looking for something more serious, then don’t bother.

Frankenhooker is available on a variety of streaming services.

Frankenhooker is also available on DVD and Bluray.

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